Divorce - Revoked or Redefined?

In When Dogmas Die I wrote that Jesus revoked the Mosaic permission for men to divorce their wives. This is only partially true, for what Jesus objected to was frivolous divorces.

“The Pharisees also came to Him, testing Him, and saying to Him, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for just any reason?” And He answered and said to them, “Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.” They said to Him, “Why then did Moses command to give a certificate of divorce, and to put her away?” He said to them, “Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, permitted you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery.” His disciples said to Him, “If such is the case of the man with his wife, it is better not to marry.” (Matt 19:3-10, NKJV)

In Malachi and 1 Peter we find that God hates divorce which is sought only in order to re-marry and does not regard the prayers of those who abuse their wives and break the covenant.

“And this is the second thing you do: You cover the altar of the LORD with tears, with weeping and crying; so He does not regard the offering anymore, nor receive it with goodwill from your hands. Yet you say, “For what reason?” Because the LORD has been witness between you and the wife of your youth, with whom you have dealt treacherously; yet she is your companion and your wife by covenant. But did He not make them one, having a remnant of the Spirit? And why one? He seeks godly offspring. Therefore take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously with the wife of his youth. “For the LORD God of Israel says that He hates divorce, for it covers one’s garment with violence,” Says the LORD of hosts. “Therefore take heed to your spirit, that you do not deal treacherously.” (Mal 2.13-16, NKJV)

“Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered.” (1 Pet 3.7, NKJV)

The Mosaic Law gave permission only for men to divorce, but the New Testament sees both men and women seeking divorce in order to remarry.

“So He said to them, “Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her. And if a woman divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery.” (Mark 10.11-12, NKJV)

Hence it seems that divorce itself is not forbidden, but frivolous divorces with the sole purpose to remarry.

The one legitimate reason given for divorce is adultery as seen in both Matthew 19 and Jeremiah 3.

“Then I saw that for all the causes for which backsliding Israel had committed adultery, I had put her away and given her a certificate of divorce; yet her treacherous sister Judah did not fear, but went and played the harlot also. So it came to pass, through her casual harlotry, that she defiled the land and committed adultery with stones and trees. And yet for all this her treacherous sister Judah has not turned to Me with her whole heart, but in pretense,” says the LORD.”  (Jer 3.8-10, NKJV)

But what is meant by Israel’s adultery is idolatry and the same is found in the New Testament.

“Adulterers and adulteresses! Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God?” (James 4.4, NKJV)

Hence adultery in the Bible is not strictly sexual in nature, but rather a transferring of one’s love and devotion to another object. Mental and physical abuse follows the same pattern: the transferring of one’s love and devotion from one’s spouse to the illusion of one’s right to hurt, for love doesn’t harm one’s neighbor (Rom 13.10). We may also ask why God would insist that a believer should lack peace if married to another believer since he does not require such from a Christian married to an unbeliever.

“Now to the married I command, yet not I but the Lord: A wife is not to depart from her husband. But even if she does depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband. And a husband is not to divorce his wife. But to the rest I, not the Lord, say: If any brother has a wife who does not believe, and she is willing to live with him, let him not divorce her. And a woman who has a husband who does not believe, if he is willing to live with her, let her not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband; otherwise your children would be unclean, but now they are holy. But if the unbeliever departs, let him depart; a brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases. But God has called us to peace. For how do you know, O wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, O husband, whether you will save your wife?”  (1 Cor 7.10-16, NKJV)

Naturally the New Testament assumes and expects that Christians live according to its precepts of loving one’s neighbor and doing unto others as one would have done unto one’s self, but often Christians fail to attain the lofty goal.  The Mosaic law granted permission for Israeli men to divorce because of the hardness of their hearts and as long as both men and women do not allow their hearts to be softened, divorce will remain a reality.

Who Can Represent God?

We are told God is male because the Bible uses the masculine default when talking about God (for example, God is called a Father) and therefore only men can represent God.

However, also the devil is called a father.

You are of your father the devil, and the desires of your father you want to do. He was a murderer from the beginning, and does not stand in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he speaks a lie, he speaks from his own resources, for he is a liar and the father of it. (John 8:44-45 NKJV)

If only men can represent God because God is male, does this mean that only men can represent the devil, i.e. be evil, since the devil is a male? 

Growing in Christ

The purpose of pastors and teachers is to help Christians grow in their faith.

It was he who gave some to be apostles, some to be prophets, some to be evangelists, and some to be pastors and teachers, to prepare God's people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ. Then we will no longer be infants, tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of men in their deceitful scheming. Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head, that is, Christ. From him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work. (Eph 4:11-16 NIV)

However, the hierarchical nature of the modern church leadership ensures that Christians remain perpetual children, dependent of their leaders instead of becoming leaders and teachers themselves – the goal of our growth in Christ.

 We have much to say about this, but it is hard to explain because you are slow to learn. In fact, though by this time you ought to be teachers, you need someone to teach you the elementary truths of God's word all over again. You need milk, not solid food! Anyone who lives on milk, being still an infant, is not acquainted with the teaching about righteousness. But solid food is for the mature, who by constant use have trained themselves to distinguish good from evil. (Heb 5:11-14 NIV)

Children must shed their dependence of their parents if they wish to become grown-ups themselves. The first step towards growth is critical thinking; instead of obeying without a question, the teenager challenges what is being said, and through that challenge, learns to distinguish good from evil. An untrained mind depends on someone to tell her what is right and wrong; a trained mind no longer needs someone to lead the way: instead she has become someone who can lead others. To become a mature Christian (a “spiritual” person) instead of remaining a child (a “carnal” person) is the goal of our faith. Happy are those Christians whose spiritual leaders recognize this and allow them to grow up instead of forcing them to remain children in order to bolster their own (false) authority over the flock.